by Gloria Allendorfer Anderson, PhD
A bedroom is a haven, or we hope it is. It ought to be a place where you can retreat to read, relax, cuddle, pillow talk, pray or meditate, rest for a while, or actually sleep. If there’s a TV, that too. So it goes without saying it should be a place you like to be. A place that’s pleasant.
Personality and preferences are what make the room. If the bedroom is for a man and wife, it shouldn’t be too feminine nor too masculine, obviously. Opening up a catalog or browsing a store in person or online can show you many beautiful ideas that are gender-neutral.
Say we’ll decorate a unisex bedroom. Choice of furniture styles are many. Some people enjoy Early American or Victorian looks. Others prefer Mission Style or Scandinavian looks that are somewhat similar – both have straight, uncluttered lines. Check out Ikea for the simple, clean lines of Scandinavian furniture. It may be just what you’d like, and it’s a bit less expensive than some other types of furniture. It’s usually light natural wood, so lends a breath of fresh air to a bedroom.
Still other folks like traditional furniture styles – oak, cherry, maple, mahogany wood or wood finishes that evoke warmth and classic comfort. Brass beds are beautiful and bring a touch of refined elegance into the bedroom. A brass bed can be mixed with traditional style furniture very easily, and works well with brass drawer pulls, bright brass trim on overhead fans, brass lamps, and other brass-accented pieces. All black or “chocolate” brown has become popular for a sleek contemporary look, or Asian furniture for understated tranquility.
The colors of the walls and ceiling may be neutral, or a shade both people really like. Most men aren’t going to appreciate pink or lavender, but earth tones and white to ivory tones are good. White and off-white or pale yellow will make your bedroom look larger, and these light colors should be used if the room is small. If the room is large, darker colors with light complementary trim will work. Eggplant isn’t for everyone, but it is a good, rich color that is fun to work with, and appeals to men as well as women. We’ve done our room in eggplant – a deep, deep purple – with a white ceiling and appropriate border. These were mutual choices, so we’re both happy.
Carpet should also be neutral so that different color schemes can be used in the room without having to tear up an expensive investment for a makeover. Throw rugs that pick up the colors of the walls, bedding, and window treatments can add interest on top of a neutral color carpet. Window treatments can be classic – not frilly – such as the mushroom-colored velvet draperies we’re using. Plain white sheers with heavier textured draperies are nice, and again, traditional. Some prefer blinds to curtains, which is a good look with contemporary or Scandinavian furniture.
Bedding can be simple or luxurious. It IS possible to have luxurious bedding without spending a fortune for it. Try Overstock.com for a great assortment of bedding and window treatments at a fraction of the cost of buying elsewhere. I purchased a reversible down comforter there, and have been very pleased with the quality. I’ve kept bedding very gender- neutral, as well, so that my husband is comfortable and not feeling overwhelmed by femininity.
I stake out my area of the room with feminine accessories on my dresser – perfume bottles, jewelry, pretty decorative boxes, pictures – and my night stand lamp, clock, and other items. HIS dresser and night stand are typically masculine, with a pipe holder and his favorite pipes, a collection of elephants, men’s fragrance bottles, and other assorted items that say “man on this side of the room!” He has his sets of handyman and craftsman books on a shelf, and some DIY books and magazines. It’s not hard to see whose side is whose.
The wall decor in our room is neutral, as well. I have a painting our daughter did in silhouette, a heart-shaped floral wreath in a brass frame under glass, a big crucifix over our bed, and not much else. One of our walls has a large glass sliding patio door that leads outside to a second-story sun deck. It takes up nearly one whole wall in the room. We do have electric window candles, dusk to dawn, that give a soft glow to the room all night long.
I think I’ve touched on every part of the bedroom. I believe in the importance of keeping a room for two very neutral so that both feel at home. It can be done with great style and without spending a fortune. A gender-neutral bedroom by no means has to be boring. Shop around for a style that suits both of you best so that your bedroom is the peaceful haven you’ve dreamed it would be.
Learn more about this author, Gloria Allendorfer Anderson, PhD.